The "Blog"

LOST HISTORY - Ep 2 - Mesopotamia

Posted by on February 17, 2016 at 8:20 PM Comments comments (0)


AKKADIAN: Sir, what city lies yonder?

GUY: Ur.

AKKADIAN: If you don't know just say

GUY: I said

AKKADIAN: Don't be a dick

GUY: Ur face is a dick

LOST HISTORY 1 - Ep 1 - Reagan

Posted by on January 17, 2016 at 7:00 PM Comments comments (0)

PICTISH REAGAN: Mr. Hadrian, tear down this wall!


ROMAN GUY [on wall]: Not until you admit neoclassical economics is shit, you blue twat!

Probably Should Stock Up on Mead

Posted by on December 29, 2015 at 3:15 PM Comments comments (0)

When holiday leftovers are gone, I roast another turkey just for me, not just to have MORE leftovers but also so I can eat it like a Viking.

The 15-minute Trilogy

Posted by on December 9, 2015 at 3:15 PM Comments comments (0)

I guess the lesson of Star Wars I-III is that, if The Force actually worked, you would've Jedi-strangled that fucking kid when you met him.

This Is the Best Joke I Will Ever Write That like Five People Get

Posted by on March 15, 2015 at 5:25 PM Comments comments (0)

If I lived under one of those Shakespearean kings, I would be one of the guys plotting to kill him ALL the time, because, dude, shut up for like two seconds.


I <3 Crushing Allemani

Posted by on February 14, 2015 at 10:20 PM Comments comments (0)

I celebrate Valentinian's Day, so while all you suckers are buying chocolate fruit and plush things in hats and dinner or whatever, I spend the holiday secretly trying to enlist the Burgundians in a joint attack on any proximate Germans.


Posted by on January 18, 2015 at 8:25 PM Comments comments (0)

You'd think if British superspies were such hot shit they would've killed Gandhi a lot sooner.

DAG! (get it? ha.)

Posted by on March 15, 2013 at 5:45 PM Comments comments (0)

Aw, man, all those dudes stabbed the shit out of Caesar. Didn't see that coming.